I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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