you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
