I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
