were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
