we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
