Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
