I wish my penis had an off switch
Your dad touched me again.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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