Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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