I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
he just fucked me for my cheese..
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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