What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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