I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
