its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
