I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
