Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
