remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
