Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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