How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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