I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
