question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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