i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
