EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
