there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
