Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
