And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
its liver damage thursday
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