we have officially lost it.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
