i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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