Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
