The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
