With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
