ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
