I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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