You made me cry and you don't even care
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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