i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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