why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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