At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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