question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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