I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize