I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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