Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
