..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
All the doctor said was why
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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