Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
not ubering you a puppy
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
