she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
