He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
