I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
