Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
