It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
