You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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