The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
