just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
