I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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