I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize