Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The beer is more important than you right now.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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