And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
