so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
