I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
