i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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