sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
