We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
