Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
