stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize