i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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