so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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