Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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